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Hello, potential employee! You are filling out this online application because you have expressed interest in joining OmniMart™ as a customer satisfaction specialist. Please fill out this form in a distraction free environment, without consulting any other people. The time now is (current-time:), so please ensure you will have at least ten minutes free. Before the application process begins, please read our [[Terms of Employment.->terms]] After you have consulted and agreed to the [[Terms of Employment->terms]], you may [[begin.->personaldetails]] (set: $terms to 0)

(set: $recorded to (confirm: "Your reading time, ip address and location will be recorded for training purposes during your time consulting the Terms of Employment.")) (if: $recorded is 'False')[ (go-to: "Start") ](else-if: $recorded is 'True')[ Please read the Terms of Employment in its entirety, as employment with OmniMart™ renders you legally bound to all clauses listed below. ] TERMS OF EMPLOYMENT - By accepting a job offer at OmniMart™, you concede to work for as many hours as requested as per is legal within the bounds of [your rights as an employer.]<linkA| (click: ?linkA)[(replace: ?linkA)[your rights as an employer. As of (current-date:), the maximum legal number of hours worked in one day is 18.]] - Employees at all OmniMart™ chain locations are prohibited from smoking, drinking alcohol, [wearing inappropriate clothing]<linkB|, swearing, and engaging in any romantically or sexually charged interaction with any person/s of the same gender. [ ]<linkC| (click: ?linkB)[(replace: ?linkC)[ Inappropriate clothing includes female employees wearing flat shoes, and male employees wearing skirts or dresses. Here at OmniMart™ we encourage unity through uniformity.]] - Any breaches of company regulation are grounds for immediate termination with no prior warning. - Employees will always be polite to customers. [[Agree]] [[Disagree]]

(if: $terms is 0)[ Please read the [[Terms of Employment->terms]] before proceeding. Your lack of ability to follow basic instructions has been recorded. ](else-if: $terms is 1)[ Here at OmniMart™, we aim to provide the best possible customer and employee experience at all of our popular chain destinations. Therefore it is in our best interests to know and understand our employees. Please [accurately]<linkA| provide your [[personal details]]. []<linkB| (click: ?linkA)[(replace: ?linkB)[Failure to be entirely truthful may result in legal action.]] ]

We regret that you have chosen to decline employment at OmniMart™. Your refusal of the Terms of Employment have automatically been added to your digital employment history, and will be visible to all future potential employers. You may reconsider the [[Terms of Employment->terms]] at any time.

(set:$terms to 1) You may now continue to the [[application process->personaldetails]]. Thank you for your time.

(set: $name to (prompt: "Your name:", "")) What is your gender? (dropdown: bind _gender, "Male", "Female",) What is your age? (dropdown: bind _age, "18-25", "26-45", "45-55") Have you used OmniMart™ services in the past? (cycling-link: bind $service, "Yes", "No") Does your family have a history of heart disease? (cycling-link: bind $disease, "Yes", "No") Does your family have a history of mental illness? (cycling-link: bind $illness, "Yes", "No") After answering these questions, please proceed to the [[Personality]] application survey.

Do you consider yourself an outgoing person? [[Yes->personality2]] [[No->personality2]]

Do you like working hard? [[Yes->personality3]] [[No->personality3]]

Do you believe that unions are good for employees? [[Yes->Union]] [[No->personality4]]

While some employees may be enticed by unions, we at OmniMart™ stress that unions degrade the quality of an employee's work experience. That is why at OmniMart™ we work hard to make sure all our employees are educated about the dangers of unions. Trusted news outlets such as Fox News show that unions are overall detrimental to workers. [[I Understand and Agree->personality4]]

Do you often complain about your workload? [[Yes->endofper]] [[No->endofper]]

Thank you for truthfully filling out our personality survey. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to [[Contact Us.]] Please continue to the [[second part of the application process.->second]] This part of the application concerns your work ethic and will determine whether you would be a good candidate for employment at OmniMart™.

Unfortunately, due to high amounts of stress on our systems, OmniMart™ is unable to take comments via digital form. You can email us at OmniMart@omni.co.dl. [[Return->endofper]]

Would you say that you are the best employee for this position, $name? [[Yes->best]] [[No->worst]]

Would you say that you don't mind working long hours, $name? [[Yes->second2]] [[No->hours]]

At OmniMart™ we value self reliance, capability and a willingness to try one's best. If you still believe that you are not the best candidate for this position you may return to the [[Home Screen->Start]], or you may [[Review your Answer.->second]]

Do you have a mental illness, $name? [[No->mental]]

At OmniMart™ we value an employee's willingness to work hard. If you still stand by your choice you can return to the [[Home Screen->Start]], or you may [[Review your Answer.->best]]

Are you gay, $name? [[No->gay]]

Are you currently on any form of medication, $name? [[No->medication]]

Are you a supporter of capitalism, $name? [[Yes->support]]

Thank you for filling out the second part of the application survey. There is only one more section to complete, and then your application will be processed and sent to our highly esteemed employee-management AI for review. Whether we choose to employ you or not, we are legally obligated to remind you that all information you have submitted so far will be added to your employment record, and all future employers will be able to review it. Whenever you're ready, please continue to the [[final question.->final]]

Here at OmniMart™, we believe that an employee is more than an individual. Our employees are united in their identity as the proud face of OmniMart™. As such, we are proud to announce our new program - Self Identification Alignment. This scientifically backed program has shown to increase productivity by 14%, and employee complaints have decreased by 22% since its implementation. The Self Identification Alignment program will remove your previous moniker of $name and replace it with a better, more descriptive, and uniform identification number. Following your acceptance at OmniMart™, you will be known as Employee JD2941. [[I Agree and Accept->namechange]]

Thank you, Employee JD2941. We wil be in touch within 1-5 business days to accept or decline your application. [[Fin]]

This Twine IF was made by Rain. Fuck megacorporations, and go join a union.

Have you ever broken the law, $name? [[No->capitalism]]